May 6, 2009  

Do you want your kids acting like House?

It starts with a wrinkled nose. Next comes a furrowed brow, rolling eyes, and a grimace. Maybe there will even be an exposed tongue. Often these are accompanied by an exclamation of “ugh”, or “yuk” or “gross”.
     Kids are reacting like Hugh Laurie does as Dr. House when he doesn't like something. He keeps no secret of his displeasure or disgust.
     Kids don't like something and they are going to let you know about it.
    It starts out when they are only a few months old. They don't like the food. They cannot use words yet so when they are displeased, they find other ways to express their feelings. These could be about food, being confined, or having their diapers changed. They don't like what is happening and they need to tell you.
    As they get older they use similar sequences to express their prejudices to more than food and “kid” stuff. Sometimes these expressions are indeed “gross” as their demonstrations far outweigh any possible “harm” that could be done to their taste buds or stomachs.

Kids learn from their families
     Most likely they learned it was okay to express their prejudices from you and other members of your family. Only the kids are doing it better. They have yet to learn how to express their displeasure “like mature adults”. Or, they feel they can do it better than mom, dad, their older siblings or their grandparents.

Acquiring class
     It will be another 10 or 15 years before they learn to be subtler in expressing their dislikes and prejudices. Some refer to this stage as “acquiring class”. People who have class are truly slick when they express their prejudices. Only “those in the know” are aware. Prejudice spawns languages of its own, usually languages which are exclusive to a particular class, race or kind.
     People, who have similar dislikes, or prejudices, know how to interpret the subtle message because they use it themselves. They will use harmless, or funny words, that do not appear to be harmful. They vigorously protest their innocence when confronted. “Oh, I was only joking!”

My Prejudice Survey wrinkles noses
    Occasionally, I conduct my Prejudice Survey where I inform my audience that I eat my cereal with juice instead of milk. More than half of my audience will wrinkle their noses. Some get vocal with the “yuks”, “ughs” and “how could you possibly's”. Whereupon I protest with, “I am not forcing you to have your cereal with juice so why are you reacting that way? You are prejudiced!”
    They cool down when I tell them that I am lactose intolerant*. So is my daughter. I also inform them the odds are that more than 50% of them are also lactose intolerant. Usually, all of them deny lactose intolerance.
    “Not only are many of you prejudiced, but you are liars as well!”
     They sit in belligerent silence as I tell them that 90% of adults who trace their family roots to the earth's hot zones are lactose intolerant. Those coming from the temperate zones are little better off. You can tell by the fact lactose intolerant people fart a lot, especially when they drink milk or eat milk products. (They can protest all they want but farts have a habit of proving my point no matter how much someone tries to disguise them.)
    Expressing prejudice often becomes a status activity as prejudiced kids – and grownups – search out examples in order to fill their need to express their prejudice.
   Racism is easy. You don't need to know more about the person than their colour, clothes, hair, or eyes to establish that they are one of “them” and worthy of prejudice. Some racists will wrinkle their noses simply when they hear that a subject has a “foreign” name.

    With my lactose intolerance I had to learn how to get along without milk.
     I also learned how to live . . . without gods!  

                            Anton Kozlik
   

To view list of all posting that deal with prejudice, hate and racism, click here

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        *Terms and            Definitions
My articles may contain words or phrases that may infer different meanings to different readers, or the reader may be unfamiliar with the term or its definition. I feel it is important to know what the writer meant when he used a word or term.

lactose intolerance— inability to metabolize lactose , a sugar found in milk and other dairy products, because the required enzyme lactase is absent in the intestinal system or its availability is lowered. It is estimated that 75% of adults worldwide show some decrease in lactase activity during adulthood. The frequency of decreased lactase activity ranges from as little as 5% in northern Europe, up to 71% for Southern Europe, to more than 90% in some African and Asian countries. People who are lactose intolerant usually produce copious amounts of gas. They fart often!

racism and prejudice — Most definitions focus on racial superiority and miss the point that prejudice is really the root of racism. For example, one group may dwell in a swanky section of town. They are undesirable to the other townspeople who apply various forms of prejudice against them.
     Another more obvious example deals with religion. One religion exercises prejudice against members of another religion even when both religious groups are of identical racial, economic and national backgrounds — and worship the same God. They may never come into open conflict with each other but they are, in effect, practicing a form of prejudice — just a more civilized version so they believe it is acceptable. Families, however, will exert pressure to make sure that its members do not associate with the other guys, especially when it comes to finding a mate. Modern social practices have almost eliminated this one.
     Some forms of prejudice are difficult to isolate, as in this example. Most Italians will rally together as they defend Italy. But, among themselves, a serious prejudice becomes apparent when northern and southern Italians are forced together. Prisoner of war camps attest to this situation as Italians split into two encampments. Asking an Italian from the camps if this situation ever happened and they will deny it. You get a different story from their prison guards.

cognitive dissonance —
Filtering out information that conflicts with what one already believes, in an effort to ignore that information and reinforce one’s beliefs.

Editors note: I will be repeating the “cognitive dissonance” definition for quite a while since it is practiced by so many — known by so few!